The direct result of religious and cultural taboos has been a real closeting of our collective sexuality. We're often taught that sex is dirty, bad, sinful, selfish, or icky, or that it is only acceptable with very specific stipulations about how, when, and why we're allowed to do it, including whether we're allowed to use birth control. Some schools still teach abstinence, rather than safety. SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Counsil of the United States) published the following (excerpted here) in the SIECUS Report, Volume 29, Number 6 - August/September 2001:

To date, no published studies of abstinence-only programs have found consistent and significant program effects on delaying the onset of intercourse.

The fact is that teaching abstinence-only as a means to prevent sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy is not effective. Sex happens. We need to be equipped with the tools to keep ourselves safe and healthy (see the protection Key). Only through clear and accurate communication about sex including specific sexual practices and behaviors, can we effectively communicate safer sex practices.

Another result of the severe lack of communication that often abounds in our society is widespread ignorance about sex in general. This results in misconceptions about sex and sexuality that range from confusion about causing harm to ourselves by masturbating (see the masturbation Key), to being able to "catch" homophobia or avoid pregnancy by jumping backwards.

On the personal side, communication about our sexual selves is necessary to establish patterns of satisfying sexual encounters. Once we know what we like (see the masturbation Key), we have to be able to tell our partners. In addition to our physical preferences, we need to discuss our emotional needs. It's imperative that our partners understand our expectations for sexual intimacy and for the relationship on the whole. Some people have very casual sex without being in a committed relationship. Others assume that introducing sex into a relationship implies a certain level of commitment between the partners. Keep communication open with partners to make sure everyone's on the same page about sex, what it means or doesn't mean to the relationship, and just exactly what assumptions sex generates.

Lastly, remember to maintain open lines of communication throughout relationships. Check in periodically. Try new things and then talk about what parts were enjoyable or what might be changed to make it more exciting next time. Avoid misleading partners by faking orgasms or pretending to enjoy something because you feel you should. Protecting a partner's ego by lying might seem like a good plan at the time, but in the end you're selling yourself short. If you don't communicate clearly about what works for you, it's extremely unlikely that you'll magically get it.