OK, this is important. If we don't know how to get ourselves off, how will our partners ever figure it out? Masturbation is normal, natural, and fun. Humans of all ages touch themselves for pleasure, as do many species of animals. It will NOT cause headaches, hairy palms, blindness, or any other negative effects, except maybe guilt if we've been taught that it's wrong, slutty, dirty, or sinful to pleasure ourselves.

Now that we've put all of those misconceptions behind us, here's the good stuff. Masturbation does not have to be that thing that we do ritualistically, silently, privately, and systematically. Experimentation (see that Key, too) is a great way to increase pleasure, and to figure out new ways to get off. These practices can then be integrated with partners. Masturbate alone, however you usually do it. Then, change something- the position you're in, your location, which hand you use, the environment (light, sound, heat), or your thoughts. Try doing it in the presence of partners while they're masturbating too. Or, try doing it for each other at the same time.

The better we know ourselves and what we like, and the more comfortable we are with our own bodies, the more clearly we'll be able to communicate these terribly important things to our partners and the more complete and satisfying our sex will be, alone and with company. I highly recommend getting a stand-alone mirror and gooseneck lamp and really LOOKING at yourself. See yourself from the angles your partners would. Watch the physical changes in your body as your arousal and feelings change, and get to know yourself "down there."